I choose

I am sure like myself, many of you will be feeling or are beginning to feel the strain emotionally, mentally and physically of the present isolation.

A couple of days ago I found myself, in a turmoil of intense emotions with no outlet. I had been watching, what some would call the alternative news. I felt I needed more of a 360 of what was going on and not just to hear the repeated messages of mainstream media throughout the day, as it was not helping me get through this. So I started doing some research and came across a documentary series, interviews and information via the internet, on social media and links shared by friends. I felt empowered with the knowledge, and frustrated and scared that it was not being shared by the mainstream media. I was lost in it. It felt like I was treading water, trying to stop myself from drowning in it, feeling helpless, lots of tears and anger coming up.

I started to become aware of where I was, and then became frustrated as I thought, what am I supposed to do with all this information now that I know it?

I was sat with my cat on my lap, feeling pretty awful. I felt like I needed a human hug, that was not available and so was really grateful for my cat cuddles.

As I sat, I heard myself say to me, “I choose.”

I repeated to myself, I choose.

Then I heard, “I choose how I feel.”

I repeated to myself, I choose how I feel.

I could feel I felt lighter for saying this, so I said it again and again, I choose how I feel. Each time I said it with more conviction. I could feel the heaviness leaving me.

I heard, “My mind, my choice.”

I repeated, my mind, my choice. I repeated it a few times and started to feel empowered. I realised I had gotten so caught up in the noise and fear, I had lost myself. I could feel myself coming back to myself. I felt so much lighter and started to feel more energised.

“I choose. I choose how I feel. My mind, my choice.”, I said to myself a few times.

Yes, I can choose how I feel. I realised I had gone on autopilot. I had gone unconscious in the overwhelm, and was being reminded, by myself, that I can be conscious, if I choose to be. I can step out of the emotional turmoil.

Saying to oneself, “I choose”, is very empowering in itself. It lifted me and I felt better, even before I decided on what I was choosing.

I am sharing this with you, as I want you to know that you too can choose how you feel. Yes, you can choose how you feel. You can change how you feel if you choose to. Yes, there is a lot going on and I am not saying to pretend that there isn’t. I am saying, to be honest and self empowering by saying, I am in isolation, and I choose how I feel. Then choose how you choose to feel and repeat it to yourself out loud until you start feeling it and then keep doing it until you really feel it.

This takes practice and helps one to be more conscious of what one is thinking and feeling, and to come out of being on autopilot.

I trust this was of value to you. If you have any questions please feel free to email me and I will do my best to answer your questions.

All my love,

Dhriti