Have you experienced the Silent Treatment?
The Silent treatment is toxic behaviour, it is emotional abuse. It is a sign of emotional immaturity. It is very childish behaviour. It is passive aggressive tactic, that is a repetitive form of emotional abuse, which the abuser will often blame their victim for. It is often where the abuser is trying to gain control by being avoidant. It is a very unhealthy way of communicating.
Silent treatment is a form of mental torture, where the abuser will not speak to their victim for long periods of time. This makes the victim feel rejected, isolated and in constant fight or flight state.
A normal healthy person will let you know they need time to gather their thoughts and then come back to you.
The victim of silent treatment will often reach out to the abuser in an attempt to resolve the situation, as the silent treatment is isolating, emotionally painful, frustrating, brutal and abusive behaviour. The abuser, may have their own trauma, and is seeing how hard will you try to make reconnection with them, how much do they matter to you and so how important they are, because deep down they are extremely insecure. The abuser own trauma does not excuse their behaviour.
The silent treatment is a red flag, in any relationship, be it romantic, friendship or family.
The silent treatment is traumatising to people who are receive it. It is one of the ways a narcissist punishes their victim to get what they want. This is not to say that everyone who uses the silent treatment is a narcissist but it is common tactic with narcissists.
If you received the silent treatment as a child know that it is toxic and that it can create trauma in you. If you got this as a child it taught you that when your parent is upset, angry or disappointed with you, that you don’t exist, you don’t get their love. This is hugely traumatising. If you experienced this, know that I feel for you.
If you got this treatment as a child it may be that you find yourself over thinking, constantly thinking what people will think of you if you do something, if you are avoidant of conflict, ice people out, because you can’t process your emotions. It is a sign that you need help to heal and to learn how to process your emotions in healthy ways.
Parents who do this to their children are teaching there children that there is no safe place, not even in their relationship with their parents. If you make a mistake or if you do something the parent does not like they will disconnect with you which is hugely traumatising for a child on many levels.
Silent treatment can be used in different ways. It I can be used when refusing to address concerns and withdrawing to avoid conflict. Lack of touch and affection, which is a form of physical silent treatment. Narcissists use it as a way of disposing of people who are no longer of value to them. Every day silent treatment is a way of an abuser pulling away and abandoning you.
It is used by abusers, or narcissists, to punish you or teach you a lesson when you set boundary or put your needs before theirs or don’t do as they would like you to. It is used by abusers to regain power and control, to devalue you, to avoid responsibility for their actions, to move on to a new narcissist supply.
Victims of silent treatment are often recommended to go no contact with the abuser. The victim usually goes no contact at the point they have had enough.
If this article speaks to you and you would like support and help from me, feel free to contact me via the contact page or email me at connect@vibrance4life.com
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Dhriti
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